A Hungry Vampire: Are You Addicted to Twitter?

This evening, I was flipping through Google looking for various things, you know, the usual stuff... pictures of Rob Pattinson, or Alex Skarsgard (both my very favorite vampires). Of course, at this point in time there are NO NEW pics. So, I cruise over to YouTube to find something smutty or endearing...anything. Each time I find something I send a little tweet... You KNOW what that is, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You send a micro blog (140 characters) of whatever piece of information that you feel is important. Of course, you're like most of us, we just KNOW there are people out there who really want to see this stuff...yeah, right.

OK, so I began to wonder, do I have a Twitter addiction? So I started searching the Internet to find out if I have an addiction to Twitter... I know I have many obsessions... but is Twitter one? Well, here are some things I found. These are in no particular order. And yes, I'm addicted to Twitter. I will tweet that this blog post is up.

You're obsessed with how many followers you have or don't have and possess a master plan for getting your numbers up.
You've got regular Twitter, Tweet Deck, and Twitter Mobile for complete uninterrupted professional tweeting.
You’ve learned how to ration out your rate limit.
You have 10-calls left to the API & it doesn't reset for another 45 minutes...yeah. You know what you have to do here but you’re jumpy. Edgy. You need to know what people are tweeting. You hate feeling left out. Boom. You blow your twitter load. See you in 45 minutes, Dumbass.
You’ve used the phrase "I Should Tweet That."
In real life, you’ve told someone or made a mental note to yourself that you should tweet about something. Worse, you’ve pulled out your phone and tweeted it while talking to someone.
You Judge People On Their Following/Follower Count.
[Some Wannabe] follows you.
You don’t know anything about [Some Wannabe].
You take a look at their image.
They look nice enough.
You take a look at their bio.
Look! [Some Wannabe] likes "Vampire" books. Very Cool!
Then you look at [Some Wannabe’s] following/follower count.
1,237 following, 15 followers.
Fuck [Some Wannabe], geez.
Meanwhile, [Some Wannabe's] a nice person who just doesn’t know Twitter convention. Yet hundreds of people have told him to f-off in their minds.
Am I right?
That’s why [Some Wannabe's] reading books or some other shit and crying all over themselves right now.
When Twitter Goes Down You Spiral Emotionally.
The strongest sign of Twitter addiction is when it’s taken away from you. Like, first thing in the morning, every weekday, you log on and nothing happens. And when you see the Fail Whale, what do you do? You start thinking of what you’re going to tweet.

OMG people! #twitterfail! fail fail.

~ OR ~

Twitter's being a whore #twitterfail #fail

Yeah.

For sure, Twitter fixed itself, adjusting to the dynamically growing, near impossible need for bandwidth just so you can drop that tweet. Yeah, your special.

That nectar of intellect.

Because that’s what we needed.
You wake at 3am & wonder which of your "friends" (*whispers* friends you've never really met) is on Twitter.
You find yourself thinking in 140 characters or less, even at dinner when you’re listening how to shorten down someones sentences that may be funny to others.
You are a walking thesaurus of Twitter acronyms - HT’s, RT’s, WTF’,s FTW!
Refer to people in public as "@their_name" regularly and don't correct it.
You find yourself pitching Twitter any chance you get, to friends, family …anyone that will listen.
You get all excited that someone added you to #FollowFriday or #FF.
You #FollowFriday or #FF everyone you follow even if it takes all Friday to do it because you want those you follow to know you love them.
You retweet constantly. In fact, you'll probably retweet this post.